You follow, not open for long being a magic phrase. After all, we don't want to miss out on something that isn't there for long, do we?
Leonard C Suskin's musings on writing, parenthood, and the wonderful world of commercial AV.
Monday, October 4, 2021
Nightmare Fuel 2021 - Day the Third
You follow, not open for long being a magic phrase. After all, we don't want to miss out on something that isn't there for long, do we?
Sunday, October 3, 2021
Nightmare Fuel 2021 - Day the Second
The Long Way Home
You take the long way home from school, along the backroads. You always told your mother that it was because the noise of the busier street bothers you, and she always pretends to believe you.
The truth is that you don't know who will be home today. Which monster.
The first time was weeks ago. You remember standing out in the yard, kicking a soccer ball against the house. The tall grass of the lawn worn to dirt patches where you stood, twelve yards from the side of the house. You'd paced it, to be sure. Your mother's voice through the kitchen window "You've lost your goddam mind".
You stopped kicking. He'd lost his mind? Was your father a zombie, a shambling undead creature with no thoughts, feeding on brains? You stayed out until darkness had fallen, until you could barely see the ball.
When you finally came in to dinner at the kitchen table (the dining room was only for Sundays or holidays) his mind was indeed gone - he ate with an absent-minded, glassy-eyed stare. Didn't say anything. Spent the last part of the meal scaping a line of crumbs out of the table's central joint with the tiny pocket screwdriver he always carried. He didn't say good night when you excused yourself to bed.
Then there was the time he'd lost his senses. That was worse. His eyes were glassy, he barely picked at his dinner. He must have lost his sense of taste as well.
"Are you going to eat your food or just stare at it?" You almost reflexively answer "I'm eating", but she wasn't looking at you. There was not a word the rest of the meal, but that's what it's like when you someone loses their senses.
So today, you take the long way home. You don't want to see the mind-numbed zombie or the deaf-mute senseless drone.
Your mother is standing outside the front steps as you approach, "You'd better hurry in. Your father's going to lose his head if you make me keep dinner waiting any longer."
Lose ... his head? A real monster this time, all shoulders and body and appetite and anger? Arms even longer, able to reach you from even farther? What was the head but the wobbly bit on the top? The place he kept his mind and senses? Without his head, it's just the monster.
You hear heavy steps down the stairs. You see his feet, the long arms, the mouth. It's hard to know without a face, but he looks angry.
Resigned to your fate, you step inside.
If you get another chance, you'll never take the long way again.
Saturday, October 2, 2021
Nightmare Fuel 2021 , Day the First
Good morning friends, if anyone is still here.
These pages have remained empty for a long time, and I skipped this whole exercise last year as pandemic brain kind of melted me. The game is the same - one piece of flash fiction per day, written one day late in the early morning. Just little sketches here to get the brain moving and put us in the October mood.
Project is courtesy of Andrea Trask, sometimes known as Bliss Morgan. If you want to play along, prompts are here on the Tumblr. She also has a Patreon for those who wish to patreonise her.
Now, on with it.
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There are whispers of a place, isolated but not too isolated, where the anonymous acolyte of worth holds a book. If you find him - and it isn't as hard as one would think - you'll be shown a single page.
On it is be written the greatest day of your life. The only price is that you need to look, and you'll always carry that knowledge that on one shining day - perhaps in the future, perhaps lost in your past - you had your best moment. And none before or since would measure up.
Nobody ever asks what "greatest" means. Not that the acolytes would ever tell.
I arrive on a chill October day, accompanied by a youth. They laugh nervously as we travel the tree-lined ghost-walk to the weathered stone temple of worth. "You're almost fifty. Whatever your time is, it's in the past. Why bother?"
I smile. "Maybe I just need a reminder. But we're here for you."
We step in. The acolyte is where we'd been told, covered in heavy robes. Impossible to tell who it was, male or female. They were holding a black-leatherbound book, as worn with the ravages of time as the building around us. They look first at the youth, beckon with one crooked finger. He steps forward, the book is held up to him and opened.
"October 31, 2036. You tell the truth to yourself." That's how it was written - always in the present tense, as if it is always unfolding. Right now.
2036. Fifteen years from now.
The youth steps back. "but.. I never lie for myself. It'll take fifteen years? For just that?"
The figure is silent. It always was.
I stepped forward to complete the ritual, but I already know.
"November 27, 2001. You go where you need to be."
The youth laughs, again nervously. "That's it? You went where you need to go twenty years ago? Some life, eh? You must be disappointed. What's left to live for?"
I barely hear. Because it's the date I knew. I remember the shoes I was wearing, the brown rockports with the frayed lace on one side, because I was tying them when I got the phone call. She was scared. She didn't think the doctors were paying her enough attention. She knew it was time for work, but she needed me.
I remembered she was wearing her glasses because I was left clutching them as a nurse ushered me away from the others who'd answered my calls for help.
The same nurse - or maybe a different one - asks me if she was wearing a watch. I say I don't know, and then she hands it to me. Stupidly, absurdly, I'll always wonder why she asked that.
Then I'm standing in a tiny, anonymous office built for painful conversations, staring at that watch, not even seeing what time it showed, as I'm handed a phone. "Do you need to call her family? Anyone?" I hold the receiver in my hand for a long time before I realize that I don't know what I'd even say to them. I set it down and say something. I don't remember what.
The rest is a blur from of fear, anger, frustration. The fear fades slowly over the next days, weeks, months. The sense of "not out of the woods" and "could happen again" that lingered like the scent of something long departed until, without fanfare, it is gone. Almost. There will be reminders later, over the years. Nothing is ever over.
I smile at the youth. "What I have to live for is the same reason I skipped work that day. It could have been the worst day of my life. It WAS one of the worst days. But also the greatest. I know if given the choice, you'd do the same"
We leave that place, having learned nothing.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Nightmare Fuel 2019, Day the Sixth - Batteries
Not only that, it seemed to be … glowing. That’s impossible.
Who puts a light in a closet? Unless he’s growing weed in there, but there’d be
no need to keep THAT a secret from you. Monday, October 7, 2019
Nightmare Fuel Day the Fifth - WIsh
At the very least, we get lovely little puzzle stories of humans trying to outsmart a virtual god. Here's a quick tale of someone who thought he won the wishing game.
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| Image by Andrea Trask |
Nightmare Fuel 2019 Day the Fourth - Grave
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
Nightmare Fuel 2019 - Day the Second. A Guide to the NYC Subway
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| Anubis in Hakone, by Joanna Karowicz |
Leave something behind when you disembark, checking the station map for a clue as to where you are as the train rattles onward, farther past the end of the line.
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Nightmare Fuel 2019, Day the First - At the Loom
Monday, October 8, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018, Day the eighth - The Mirror
Nightmare Fuel 2018, Day the Seventh
Lucas watched the trees as coach gathered the team to the
middle of the field to congratulate them on a hard-fought win, tell him he was
proud of them. Were the trees closer?Saturday, October 6, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018, day the sixth
Today is an experiment in process rather than style; this was written over the course of 35 minutes and 42 seconds on an exercise bike at the gym on my phone. Friday, October 5, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018, Day the Fifth - A Winter Vacation
Day the Fifth. Let's head south, for a winter vacation.
No, it's not you; I think these are getting stranger as the month goes along. This is only day 5, so I'm not sure where we'll end up.
Inana came to the great terminal, at the port at the edge of the air.
She awaited her turn, approached the first of the guardians of the air,
Was asked to remove her shoes, her sparkling bejeweled belt and her jacket, crafted from the leather of an ancient and long extinct beast adorned with bright brass buttons.
.
The shoes and jacket were returned to her, but he belt buckle was sharp-edged, needed to be surrendered before she could ride to the skies.
She descended to the south, disembarked from another port, this one named for a sacred forest. She considered this a good omen.
She stepped into the oppressive heat, surrendering the jacket she'd reclaimed from the guardians in the north.
She traveled on, first by hired car (leaving her bag behind) then on foot.
Which each garment, each accoutrement she left behind she felt a bit weaker, a bit lighter, but certain she was on the right path. After all, she'd done this before. This was far from her first descent to a place too hot, too far, too much stinking of death and decay.
She left a single shoe behind in the grass, limped along a mile before discarding the other at the side of the road. She should have saved them for last, but the locals in places like this get strange around too much bared flesh.
Still, her clothes she discarded only blocks later as she neared the gates.
Of course there were gates.
These were faux-wrought iron, set in stucco towerettes with faux-tile roofs.
No sentry save an outdoor-rated dome camera and an RFID sensor.
No matter; there was form to such things. Inana removed the rest of her clothing, her body bared to the unblinking gaze of the camera as she slipped through the gates and into the community.
She strode past identical Spanish-style ranch homes, shedding her skin at the base of a palm tree, leaving her bones piled up aside the next.
At last at her destination, she enters his home and settles in, alongside him, and waits.
That what this is for, after all.
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| Image by Hilary Truman |
Perhaps when the waiting is over she'll recollect her bones
and her flesh
and her clothes
and that discarded shoe
and the jacket
and her favorite belt
and return North for the coming Spring.
After.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018, Day the Fourth - Minutes from the Early October Meeting of the Coven
Day four. The days I don't commute are harder because I don't have the time on the train for writing.
Some days are dialog, some days stories, some days odd little experiments. This is that kind of day.
Old Business
- Renew binding spells on current leadership
- Enjoin against the doing of harm
- Add to list of focus ingredients
- Beer to enjoin against harm done through drunken debauchery
- A baby rattle to enjoin against harm done to children and other youth
- A coin to enjoin against continued theft of resources.
- Review the possibility of curses against current leadership
- Discussion -- will this make us "as bad as they are?"
- Redirect energies to healing?
- "Save what we love" vs "destroy what we hate"
- This is understood to be a quote from a movie. It still fits us
- To be revisited next full moon.
- Robes ordered - should be available before moonlit nights get too cold.
- Candles are traditional, but damage to the ceiling is getting out of hand. We need to do a better job of cleaning up after ourselves.
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018, Day the Third - Remembrance of Reconstruction
This one is nakedly topical, drawn heavily on current events for the last year. Also a ghost story, because October is the time for ghosts.
So... boo!
You never fired a gun, barely held one. You remember that, barely.
Memories are always hazy, from before your death. They all get tangled up by how the living look back at you, where you're memorialized, the passing of time.
You must have for a time posed as a soldier, because that's who you are, here in the hereafter. That's what people see when they look.
You don't remember anger from your life either, but you feel that. It's nearly the first thing you remember from the years after your death - a seething resentment. You feel spread out, losing your sense of space.
You're in a meadow.
At the edge of a forest.
Outside a courthouse.
In a public park.
You're many places. The further you stretch, the less you remember yourself. You lose your hometown, your first kiss, your job.
You forget your name.
You remember hatred, anger.
Grass grows short and scraggly around your markers, trees grow stunted. Autumn comes a bit earlier, spring a bit later. You are winter. You are death, or death's cousin.
Then, slowly, perhaps, the world changes. Your awareness of the courthouses and the parks and the town squares fade. Still you are hatred, you are bitter anger, but your world is shrinking.
Finally, there's nearly nothing more. Just a quiet, dark place near the edge of the cemetery, beneath an oak tree too old and too strong to care for your anger.
Finally, not even a memory remains.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018, Day the Second - The Vigil
It’s lonely, this vigil from the attic with no company save
the empty bottle and the sounds of crickets. No company save for the lonely,
hard men outside. The ones who walk with their eyes up, hoping to peek through
those pinprick shades for a glance at the swell of your breasts, the curve of
your hip, the delicate lines of your neck. From up here I see all of them.Monday, October 1, 2018
Nightmare Fuel 2018 - Day the First!
Here's my first, as I start getting into it. We'll see how many we get this year.
"Draw me like one of your Japanese girls."
She knew it was a corny line, but knew his type. The kind of guy who insisted that he read manga, not comic books. The kind who went to Aikido class three days a week, who insisted he knew what "ki" is. The guy whose prize possession is that Yoshitako Amano book he got the author to sign. Yeah, that book by the mainstream western author.
That type of guy.
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| Image from Lustige Blätter,circa 1899 |
So he went home, studied his manga-not-comics, scoured the web for drawings.
On the first day, he came to her studio apartment. He drew her as a schoolgirl, starched white blouse, pleated skirt, maryjanes. Her hair playful bound in pigtails, a playful smile on her face. Smooth penstrokes, her face youthful and vulnerable. She shook her head. '
"I'm not that kind of Japanese girl," she giggled. She kissed his cheek, invited him back the next day.
So he went home, took the book of court photos from his bookcase and studied.
On the second day he came to her studio apartment. He drew her as a geisha, her kimono poorly tied with a too-long obi. He never did get the hang of drawing knots. Her eyes narrow, her hair done up high. His penstrokes were long and languid, with flourishes meant to hint at whatever design the kimono would have; he wasn't sure on that either. She shook her head,
"no, no, no. I'm not that kind of Japanese girl either. You get one more try." She sighed sadly, kissed him lightly on the lips, bade him return the next day.
So he went home, one more time. He studied reproduction woodblock prints of demons and devils.
On the third day he came to her studio apartment. He drew her as a monster, her nude body hidden behind a mound of skulls, her eyes a touch mad. His pen skipped across her face, barely outlining it, but lingering over the skulls. He drew her hair down, weaving between the mound of skulls like a river. She shook her head,
"I suppose I'm not a Japanese girl after all." she whispered as she lead him to her bed, silently. The next words she spoke - as if the time between hadn't passed at all - were barely a whisper, all breath and no voice, "but I am a monster."
Truth be told, he wasn't a meal worth savoring, but was a meal nonetheless. She briefly considered keeping his skull, but she had enough already.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Nightmare Fuel Day the Thirty-First - The Door
Nightmare Fuel, Day the Thirtieth - The Tree Surgeon
Monday, October 30, 2017
Nightmare Fuel, Day the Twenty-Ninth - In the Gallery
The image came late, so the only other response we get today is from the stalwart Samantha Dunaway Bryant who has, to this point, written a response to each and every one of these.
The changeling's human parents took her to a museum.
Oh, they didn't know that she was a changeling. That would have been common sense a century ago, but we don't live a century ago, now do we? We live today, in a world where everything is neatly boxed and measured, where the gap in a hedgerow leads to the other side of the hedgerow, where inside a wardrobe is naught but clothes. Where a child who suddenly becomes a bit wild is "precocious" or, perhaps diagnosed as something or other. That's the world in which we live.
These are good parents of the modern world, parents who'd tame their wild child and bring her to museums, to concerts, to whatever hidden delights they could find. In days of old a changeling would be beaten with sticks or burned with fire, perhaps it's better to tame them with money and culture.
This changeling - this Child - was a wild thing. She never could explain how the well-manicured lawns made her itch, how seeing the neatly shaped bushes made her feel constrained, as if bound in irons. So moments of despondent silence would punctuate wild running and dancing barefoot through the lawn, ruining the bottom of her skirts with mud grass stains.
THe museum was different.
Quiet, dark rooms seemed, to the child, alive with energy. Awake. If the lawn cried out because it longed to grow ragged, this was a place that was what it meant to be. She felt at peace here, so ran wild, ahead of the parents. Rapid footfalls on marble floors, echoing over the hushed voices of the other grownups.
The parents let her run ahead. They knew that it was best for children to run wild a bit, even if they didn't know what wildness lived within their tiny girl's heart. They also knew that this gallery was a dead-end, that they'd soon corner their little moppet and laugh and buy her an icecream.
She came to a painting of a wild scene, with a stern and giant creature. It saw her through the painting, she saw it.
On the other side of the painting, wildness. Perhaps the hunt someday. Flowers that grew where they will, not where they were forced to. On this side, her parents who always listened and brought her to these places so that she might run wild. The wild creature reached out, through the painting and offered to her a flower, a single glittering yellow thing. It shone bright in the dim exhibit hall, its deep yellow petals haloed in a bright glow as they flaked off into the air.
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| Scarlet Table, by vv nan https://www.artstation.com/artwork/9aEnW |
They turned the corner.
Did they see their changeling daughter, her eyes upturned as she gazed on a scene of wonder? Or did they find themselves alone, barely noticing the few spilled petals the only sign that anyone was ever here?
Sunday, October 29, 2017
Nightmare Fuel, Day the Twenty-Eighth - Manifesto
No image prompt today, so I chose my own. Just a few short rantings of a madman.
Because really, aren't we all a bit mad?
It has been written that the most merciful thing in the world is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. That we live in ignorance a part we play of the awesome grandeur which is the cosmic cycle. There are times men see beyond the veil, men we call mad, but they see something.
What it is that they see is always just beyond their ken, horrors they could imagine, horrors they couldn't resist. Just horrors.
So we read of the mad scientist creating a man of of elecricity and spare body parts.
Seamonsters, attacking sailing ships should they draw near the edge of the world.
Of the unholy terror drinking blood, resisted only by the holy power of church. Not so close.
Of the thing at sea, larger than the greatest whale, brought down by a great steamship. Closer. The guy who wrote that one really gets it.
Each story is of survival, even if not hope. We always vanquish the monsters. At least the best of us are. Sometimes someone from Africa or Israel or Poland has some kind of ancestral knowledge, but it's always the scientist who vanquishes them. The one who studies. The smart, civilized one with the books.
Civilized I am, and smart. I can make connections. The stories have lasted a long, long time. I've read all of them. About the thin places, about the elder ones from beyond. And one thing I know - they're always stronger than we are, but just barely. Beyond our ken, but not too far.
Today we'll learn more about what lies beyond, and what is beyond our ken today.
On, it doesn't matter where it came from. Say it's an old book, or an inscription on a relic in the museum. You know, one of the ones they keep in the back where the patrons don't get to see. It doesn't matter.
What matters is that I know.

What matters is that I'm tired of being laughed at.
I know things. I know that what's beyond our ken today is far and away beyond what was beyond our ken a decade ago.
Let's see what's on the other side of this veil. Just like some humans are better than others, some monsters are better.
This monster will be the right one to let in.
I can tell because it's white.















